I already miss her….

I am losing my little girl. She is only three, but regardless, I dread every day that passes knowing that at some point very soon, she won’t want to cuddle with me anymore, or fall asleep in my lap at night. It won’t be long before taking a nap with Daddy isn’t something she will look forward too and no longer will she look up at me and ask “You want to kiss me don’t you??!”

If you know me, then you know I am not a compassionate person. You also know that I am sarcastic and gruff, stubborn, straight forward and a guy who doesn’t show emotion. Essentially, I am the OPPOSITE Rob Slane! lol.

Regardless, that little girl has changed me in so many ways. Sure, the average person may not see it, but deep down, I have been softened by the hugs of tiny arms….. She has all of me…..and I think she knows it.

It won’t be long before she is talking on the phone with boys, and bringing them home to meet her Daddy…..to which I will be putting the fear of God into them every way I know how too. She will be back talking me and telling me how I am ruining her life…… And even the thought of “giving her away” to someone else……let’s not even go there.

I was thinking about a song a buddy of mine wrote about his little girl and it just about brought me to to tears. Roy Goudy wrote a song that I believe he titled “The Ghost of You” and it’s about how his daughter is now a bit older but he still sees her as a 3 year old. Running around the house, making messes with chocolate ice cream all over her face. He still can see her perpetually running everywhere she goes cause lets face it, 3 year olds don’t walk anywhere. Even though she is still there, so much of her is already a memory.

I am losing her. With every day that passes, she is one small step farther away from me. I see other parents with kids who are older now and I grieve for them inside while wondering if what I am feeling is normal. She is gonna grow up, I have to deal with it……but why is it happening so fast?

~jfm3~

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This entry was posted on Thursday, April 15th, 2010 at 8:08 am and is filed under Family. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

3 Responses to “I already miss her….”

  1. Ed S. Says:
    April 15th, 2010 at 8:25 am

    My heart goes out to you, brother. It does happen fast, but every moment is a gift. I have to remind myself of that when I see the snarly face looking back at me or when tempers flair and we both start shouting. It doesn’t get easier, but just know that you are never alone in this. At the very least (and it probably is the very least) I’ll be standing there beside you.

  2. Roy Says:
    April 15th, 2010 at 8:50 am

    Your ghost is beautiful as it moves across the room
    You’re just a memory perfectly misleading me
    Just a dream

    Your face is beautiful; your ways are beautiful too
    You’re just a mystery, the way you are part of me
    And I am part of you

    It’s just as I feared
    Your face is fading and I am still standing here
    I want to hold you again but my hands pass through
    A picture is all that remains for me of you

    Your voice is beautiful as it moves to fill the room
    You’re just a melody, so perfect and haunting me
    Just a dream

    It’s just as I feared
    Your voice is fading and I am still standing here
    As if I could hear you again but the sounds withdraw
    Like the face of the ghost that I thought I saw in you

  3. Randy M Says:
    April 19th, 2010 at 5:43 pm

    Joe:

    Those are awesome words brother….keep them close to your heart.

    I remember vividly the day that I gave Kara away to Jeremy. It was a very long day spent having fun, hearing congrats, taking pictures, and the whole time I made the most of it by cracking jokes, etc….my way of keeping things on the ‘level’… Later in the evening I got to share a father\daughter dance with her at the reception…. At that point, I still had it together… but it was finally starting to sink in..

    I drove to the reception separetely from everyone else, so that meant tha during my drive home, I was going to have some alone time to reflect….OUCH!!! At about the midway point, I broke down bigtime…To the extent where I had to almost stop the car because I could not see to drive….

    By the time I got home, my tears where gone but the memories that flooded my mind still remain with me to this day….

    Prepare yourself Joe, but let me leave you with this….cherish every single moment…from reading your post, your on the right track!!!

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